I Am Change
Suzy Zail
Lilian’s life has been mapped out for her by her mother. Attend school until she gets her first period, and then drop out to marry and raise babies. But Lilian wants more. She’s smart, why shouldn’t she go to school like the boys? Why would she want to marry? She wants more in her life, even though she is poor.
I am warning you now, this novel is not a comfortable or comforting read. I found myself thinking about it while I should have been working, and worrying about Lilian. I even dreamed about it, that’s how powerful this novel was. I wanted Lilian to succeed, even though I knew that it was very unlikely that she would.
I remember that when I requested this novel I was hesitant because I didn’t know if a city born author could do justice to a village born girl’s story. But Suzy Zail has written a powerful, painful novel from the input of 30 girls who have been through many, if not all, of the horrors depicted in the novel.
I recently went to an author talk by Isobelle Carmody (swoon!) where she talked about how it’s impossible to really define an age bracket for novels because everyone is at a different reading level. I’d say this is an adult novel, just as much as it is a young adult novel. It depends whether the reader is able to cope with the trigger warnings for rape, female genital mutilation and domestic violence.
I found it confronting and difficult to read. I recommend that you buy a copy and contemplate how lucky so many women are – and how many girls aren’t lucky enough to become women, because it is pure luck that they survive being given less food than the boys, having their genitals removed and birthing babies constantly year after year.
Walker Books | 1st August 2019 | AU$19.99 | paperback
I hated Noah and Min’s relationship. Honestly, I was disgusted by Noah most of the time, and I couldn’t believe that Min would fall for him. What about Tack? He would give her anything! And I’d take that any day in a killing scenario like what these guys find themselves in.
Ah, I wouldn’t have called this The Bride Test. Is Esme really tested? Or is it Khai who has to decide what he really wants? I loved reading their different perspectives and how the times almost overlapped, and that arg! How could they both think such different things about the same interactions? Well, since Khai identifies as having Autism, yes, it’s clear how that can be the case. It’s nice to see a non-neurotypical writer commenting and writing on a topic that she is surely intimately familiar with.
You know, you’d think that fiction characters, particularly those that have adopted children, would learn to be more open about things. Every time I get a side conversation being held between parents I automatically think that something is going to go wrong – and unfortunately that’s normally the main plot point of the novel, just as it is here.
How dumb can one girl be? It’s clearly obvious which side she’s going to pick. Oh boo hoo, your boy toy isn’t from the same place. Oh no! You might war with your parents for forever! Get over it! Choose based on what you see, not what people tell you. She’s all about being strong and kicking people in the balls (literally and figuratively) and then she’s just bowled over by good old Killian because he smells good.
This novel was very, very slow and I considered giving up on it about half way through. Min and Noah are like two magnets that kept changing polarities. Oh, and then when the perspectives started changing I started feeling very irritated. Just stick with a side guys! Noah, please get over yourself, I get that you might have anxiety, but I don’t think you’re really convincing me with your character consistency.
I didn’t feel convinced that Felix was 13. I felt that maybe he was a bit younger? I feel like by 13 I was a bit more put together, but maybe that’s because I’m a girl and we develop slightly faster than boys. I loved his relationships with his friends! And I liked how the novel was a mix of past and present tense – initially I felt a bit hesitant of it, but in the end it made sense.
The premise of this novel is interesting. When children get to the age of 10 or so, they lose their ability to feel things. So then at high school they are taught society’s rules and norms for how to behave. Somehow people’s brains have switched off the pathways to being empathetic for others. It’s a cool idea! I’m not sure how biologically possible it is at this point though.
Normally I would be irritated by a novel trying to cram too much importance into a single day. I thought to myself at the beginning of this one that I didn’t have much tolerance for the interspersed chapters from Natasha and Daniel, as well as the other randoms they happen to run into! But it grew on me, and in the end I was satisfied. I kept wanting to know the next coincidence to happen.
No, I don’t care about your relationship, Nell and Van. Yes, I think you’re pathetic. Move on already. It might be a ground breaking romance but that doesn’t mean that without it you’re worthless. It could be ‘one true love’ or it could just be you poking a sore because you’re too afraid to move on. Oh, and not to mention that the cheeky Piskies just seemed to be a complete setup.